Well guys can you tell I'm counting down here?  Today was a productive day.  Melinda called this morning and asked me if Conner could come over and spend time with me because he missed me and his brother and Poppa.  Who would've thought it?  Maybe she has a spark of humanity after all.  Then, when I dropped him off this afternoon, we talked about how hard this is on Conner and how he going through "severe abandonment issues"  and has been trying to make himself throw up to get out of going to school.  Ok, I understand that.  Of course this hard.  Poor hunny misses his father, he doesn't understand the length of time he will be gone. 

On the other hand I kinda think he does.  Understand what is going on.  Jim and I had been preparing Conner for the last 4 months for the day that Jim left.  Spoke with him about it, that Daddy was going away for awhile but would be back for when he was out of school.  He tells his mother that we never told him until the night before Jim left.  Breaking down everynight.  I don't understand. 

I feel betrayed.  I really do.  I'm not allowed to have COnner because of how upset he is, that this is so hard for him and how mad Melinda is at Jim.  Yes...............this is very hard for him.  His father whom he loves very much is not here.  What I don't understand is, why is she so mad at Jim?  Why is everyone so against him going to do something to better himself (this doesnt include you Dave, Colleen and Barbie because you guys are some of the few who has supported us)  and his family?  I am so glad that Conner has his friends and teacher and school counsler who can help him through this very rough time in his life when he feels abandoned.  I am glad that his mother allows him to play with other children after school, when he isn't allowed to play with his brother.  He has a wonderful support group, why gee golly, everyone on Jim's side of the family is helping to support Conner through his time of need, when he is scared, when he feels alone at night.  I am glad that he has someone to dry his tears when he feels like he can't take it anymore,

I have to wonder though, if certain members of that family..............are allowed to speak with Conner?  I mean, wasn't Jim shunned?  No more speaking or contacting with, hell can't even go to his funeral should he die defending his country which gives those certain people the right to do that.  So,  they aren't allowed to speak with Jim?  *funny side note, the reason he got shunned is because of Melinda whom they have contact with every day even though while married to Jim she slept with another man, left Jim for that man and has now married that man.  FUNNY RIGHT!!!!!!!!!  I'm sitting here chuckling my ass off*   So I guess I am just confused.  Jim is shunned, but Conner is not. 

And No Dave....................I am not wallowing.  I am thinking very..........very clearly.  I am thinking about what Elders of a congregation would think about contact with certain people.  That's all. 

My sister Sarah and her husband Jim have been wonderful with checking in on me and seeing how I am handling things.  My Daddy is there every step of the way for me and I know that you are too Dave.  Colleen you will have to send me your e-mail address so we can chat.  I took some great pictures today of the boys to send down to Jim and a good one of Obe as well.  Obe is adjusting ok.  Joleen came over today and took him for a long walk and played with him and such.  She's a good kid.  I'm sure if Jackie hadn't blocked me from reading her blog her taken me off maybe.........just maybe she might have a few kind words of support for me as well.  

So I kept the phone with me all day today thinking maybe Jim would be able to call back today but no go.  Daddy says he should be able to call me on Sunday.  Gosh I hope so.  I miss him and want to be able to tell him what is going on up here but I don't want to stress him anymore.

Daddy will be changing the locks tomorrow for the house and the garage, so I feel a trifle safer.  I also got a BEWARE OF DOG sign because as you all know Obe is a vicious killer puppy who will bite you as soon as look at you.  Just for precautionary wise so once again visitors in May will be required to give advance notice before stopping by unexpectedly. 

Be happy Dave, i ate today.  you count Carnation Instant Breakfast right? and V8 Fusion juice,

Well I'm hoping the weather will start warming soon so Daddy and I can clean the garage out and start getting the outside looking good.  Get Alex outside playing and such. 

I have to change the oil in the S10 tomorrow.  Got the shuddering to stop though with some well measured transmission fluid.

Well all, I think that I've hit my max for the day, besides I still have to clean the rest of the house and finish laundry and such.  Goodnight all.  Maybe more to come tomorrow?